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A Short Guide to Comparative Religions

 

TAOISM   Shit happens.
BUDDHISM   If shit happens, it's not really shit.
ISLAM   If shit happens, it's the will of Allah.
PROTESTANTISM   Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
JUDAISM   Why does this shit always happen to us?
HINDUISM   This shit happened before.
CATHOLICISM   Shit happens because you're bad.
HARE KRISHNA   Shit happens rama rama.
T.V. EVANGELISM   Send more shit.
ATHEISM   No shit.
JEHOVAH'S WITNESS   Knock knock, shit happens.
HEDONISM   There's nothing like a good shit happening.
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE   Shit happens in your mind.
AGNOSTICISM   Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn't.
EXISTENTIALISM   What is shit anyway?
STOICISM   This shit doesn't bother me.
RASTAFARIANISM   Let's smoke this shit.
 

 

Copyright 2010 Tim Stouse
Last modified: December 10, 2010
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